Remind me to punch this guy in the face should
I ever meet him. Tool.
I ever meet him. Tool.
The 1970's were an interesting time in music. Actually, when you think about it, the sixties through today was an interesting time for music. We had the legends like The Beatles and Led Zeppelin, and now we have Ke$ha and Lady Gaga. A lot has changed in the music industry in the last four decades and some of it is definitely for the better. I really would love to sit here and say that all of the changes weren't for the better but lying really isn't my strong suit when trying to convince people.
One of those things that is better to have disappeared is Glam Rock. For all you musically and culturally deprived, Glam Rock is a style of rock and pop music that originated from the United Kingdom somewhere in the mid 1970's. Performers in Glam Rock bands would wear their hair big and poofy with lipstick and spandex, even if they were men. Such examples of this genre and appearance are Alice Cooper, Twisted Sister and David Bowie. Albeit that they are phenomenal artists and have made quite the dent in the music industry, but seriously it is crazy.
Hopefully Glam Rock will forever be stored away in the vault where they put out of style music. And these are the reasons why:
The Fashion is Way Too Old to Be Worn Now
Back in the 1970's, spandex, leather and headbands were all the rage. Now, if someone were to walk out of their house wearing spandex they probably would be hit by lemons that neighborhood kids would be throwing at them. The spandex craze died out around the time when Aerosmith's Pump came out. Actually, Stephen Tyler could probably still wear spandex pants now that he is on American Idol and actually get away with it without Joan Rivers poking fun of him with her fashion police.
"Try and pull this off, motherf*ckers!!"
Then there is the hair. Holy crap on toast, the hair. When I picture Glam Rock, I envision uber frizzy hair that can add about four feet to your height. It's like an afro gone horribly, horribly wrong. And for some reason, that was the "it" hairstyle of the 1970's. Everyone had long hair that was the Glam Rock look. Even if they weren't Glam Rock. Take Dan McCafferty, the lead singer of Nazareth for example. His hair was the textbook definition of Glam Rock disaster hair, and Nazareth wasn't even in the Glam Rock genre.
I blame psychedelic 1970's drugs for the hair choices
Every frontman to bands in the Glam Rock era had long hair. Robert Plant, Steve Perry, Dave Evans among many many others. I understand that it was a fashion statement of the era, but nowadays hair like that will get you shot. Now when artists style their hair like that, it is for an ironic fashion statement. Or to further prove that today's musical influence is comprised of a bunch of tone deaf r-tards.
Apparently looking like your head got stuck
in a cotton candy maker is the new "it" thing.
Then there are the front men that would wear caked on makeup, to where they made professional drag queens look like they were going au natural. There is nothing more creepy than a man in spandex with huge hair and spandex wearing makeup. Thank you Dee Snider for giving me nightmares after I saw your videos on VH1.
All kinds of eeeewwww
The Actual Genre Itself is Pretty Much Dead
The Glam Rock style of the 1970's have influenced a plethora of musicians in the last forty years. I do believe that a lot of the Glam Rock bands have put enough of a significant dent in the music industry to where they can be considered amazing musicians, despite the fact that I personally cannot take them completely seriously because of their appearance. Marilyn Manson, Lady Gaga, and the Darkness are just to name a few.
The original genre itself has kind of been dying out throughout the decades but the fashionable interest has been passed down while adding it's own modern flare. For the love of Pete's sake, Lady Gaga goes so over the top with her costumes, she wears meat! Alice Cooper never wore meat! But Gaga does!
How Dee Snider didn't think of this first still baffles me.
David Bowie had the Glam Rock genre all mapped out like a champ. He had the outfits and the persona to actually pull it off like a champ. Plus he had that whole open and out of the closet bi-sexuality thing that made him different than all the other Glam Rock musicians, so the fact that he was dolled up in cake makeup on stage wasn't as bizarre as it was with most musicians. But you can't get more badass than David Bowie. I mean, dude was in Labyrinth and that movie alone was awesome and made him even more of an epic Glam Rock God. Until his and Mick Jagger's Dancing in the Street came out. That video was just a little weird.
Umm, About That....
The Darkness tried reviving the Glam Rock era a few years back with their video for I Believe in a Thing Called Love, and although they managed to score some major cool points with trying to revive a dying lifestyle in music, they failed at it horribly because by the time it came out, the younger generations were more interested in Britney Spears' Toxic because they came out the same year. But seriously, I give them major props for trying to bring it back.
Tried...but failed.
The newer generation of music followers want what is today's Top 40, and therefore it is all about Nicki Minaj and Pitbull. Even mainstream rock n' roll isn't what it used to be. But that argument will be saved for a column in the future. Probably when I beg all over the internet for Led Zeppelin to do a reunion tour. But Jimmy Paige and Robert Plant's heart tickers are running out, so let's step on it shall we?
Even If Glam Rock Made A Comeback It Would Be Way Different, So Why Bother?
With music becoming what it is nowadays with more half naked chicks on stage and guys wearing pants down around their ankles, even if a particular form of Glam Rock reinvented the music scene, it would be so drastically different that it would probably make more of a mockery of what we see it as now. Sure, there would still be spandex but the clothes would probably be more revealing. Look at the clothes that musicians wear nowadays. I'm gonna use Ke$ha as an example, only because I feel that she is trying too hard to pursue the image of Glam Rock. She is the textbook definition of visual hot mess, and although she is a guilty pleasure of mine (rocking out to Blow as I write this sentence matter of fact), the previous statement still stands true.
Tolerable, I guess...
That's enough, Ke$ha...
Dear God, please make it stop!!
Some things are just better left behind in the past. Let those of us who are welcoming to all kids of music appreciate the fact that what was once great was what it was and now we can't revive it to it's original form. Christ forbid if Selena Gomez were to try and pull off the Glam Rock stuff. I mean, I know I am too young to understand in full what it's influence was way back in the day, but I mean, she was REALLY too young. If she were to mimick a Glam Rock Band, I can just picture Alice Cooper's reaction.
Once upon a time, that was Selena Gomez's head.
So yes, let's just throw Glam Rock into the music vault and let it rest in peace with the greats who made it legendary. Other than that, it is definitely a style of music and fashionable lifestyle that really doesn't need to be the ultimate zombie on pop culture.
T.
